Blind to the Blessing

The Danger of Taking People for Granted

There is something we need to stop and seriously think about. How often do we become so accustomed to having someone in our lives that we forget to appreciate what that person means to us? Someone is always there when we need a helping hand, someone listens when we need to talk, someone offers encouragement when life becomes difficult, and someone patiently puts up with us even when we aren't at our best. We become so accustomed to these things that we may eventually stop recognizing them as acts of kindness. Instead, we begin to expect them. What was once appreciated becomes an ordinary part of our day, and before long, we may even become irritated when that person cannot do what we have come to expect.

But what happened? Did that person's kindness become less valuable? Did their time suddenly become less important? No. What changed was our recognition of the blessing. We became so accustomed to receiving that we forgot the importance of appreciating the one who gives.

This is something that reaches much deeper than simply remembering to say thank you. It concerns how we regard other people, how we treat them, and whether we have become so focused on our own wants and expectations that we no longer consider what others may need. God has quite a bit to say about how we are to treat each other, and it is worth paying attention to.

Love Does Not Demand Its Own Way

Let's begin with what God tells us about love.

1 Corinthians 13:4–5 Love is patient and kind. Love does not envy, it does not brag about itself, it is not arrogant. It does not behave improperly, it does not insist on having its own way, it is not easily provoked, and it does not keep an account of wrongs.

There is something important in that description. Love does not insist on having its own way. When we become accustomed to someone's kindness, do we begin expecting that person to accommodate us every time? Do we become impatient when they have responsibilities of their own, or when they simply cannot do what we want them to do? Sometimes we forget that the person who is always willing to help us has a life of their own, with needs, concerns, and responsibilities just as important as ours.

Love does not turn another person's willingness to help into a permanent obligation. It doesn't take advantage of someone's patience or assume that because someone has always been there, they must always be available. Genuine love recognizes the other person as an individual, not merely as someone who exists to make our lives easier.

Familiarity Can Make Us Blind to Value

You’ve heard that old saying, “familiarity breeds contempt”? Think of this.

Something interesting happened during Jesus' ministry that illustrates how familiarity can affect people's judgment.

Mark 6:4 Jesus told them that a prophet is not without honor except in his hometown, among his relatives, and in his own household.

Think about that. These people had known Jesus since He was a child. They knew His family, had watched Him grow up, and may have even played with him. They were familiar with His earthly background. So when He began teaching with wisdom and demonstrating the authority of God, they struggled to see beyond the boy they had known growing up. Instead of recognizing the significance of who stood before them, they questioned Him and took offense. Their familiarity had become an obstacle to recognizing His true significance.

And isn't that something we see in everyday relationships? People can become so accustomed to someone that they stop recognizing that person's worth. They remember who someone was years ago, but fail to appreciate who that person is today. Familiarity should never become a reason to overlook someone's value or take their presence, kindness, and contributions for granted.

We can make a similar mistake in our own relationships. Sometimes we know someone so well that we stop noticing the qualities that make that person valuable. We know they are dependable, so we expect dependability. We know they are generous, so we expect generosity. We know they are patient, so we assume they will continue putting up with whatever we dish out.

But knowing someone well should give us more reason to appreciate them, not less. Familiarity should never become an excuse for disrespect or neglect. The people closest to us deserve our consideration just as much as anyone else, and perhaps we ought to be especially mindful of how we treat them.

Give Honor Instead of Taking Advantage

Romans 12:10 Love one another with genuine brotherly affection. Take the lead in showing honor to one another.

Notice that God doesn't tell us to wait until someone has done something extraordinary before showing them honor. We are to take the lead. That means appreciation should not depend upon what someone has done for us lately, whether they have agreed with us, or whether we expect something in return. We show honor because it is the right thing to do.

Honor is demonstrated through our everyday conduct. It is found in the way we speak to people, whether we listen when they have something to say, whether we acknowledge their efforts, and whether we show consideration for their time. It also means not treating someone as though their contributions are insignificant simply because those contributions have become part of our routine.

Think about how easily we can become critical of someone who has done a hundred things for us because of the one thing they didn't do. We remember the inconvenience, but forget the years of kindness. We notice what is missing while overlooking everything that has been given. That isn't showing honor, and it certainly isn't demonstrating the love God expects of us.

Consider the Other Person

Philippians 2:3–4 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or a desire for empty recognition, but with humility consider others more important than yourselves. Each of you should look beyond your own interests and also take an interest in the concerns of others.

This passage brings us right to the heart of the matter. Taking someone for granted often begins when our own interests become the only interests we consider. We think about what we need, what we want, what would make things easier for us, and what we expect others to do. But have we stopped to consider what is happening in their lives? Have we even bothered to notice when they are tired, when they need encouragement, or when they could use a helping hand themselves?

God tells us to look beyond our own interests. That means we cannot continually expect others to consider us while never giving the same consideration in return. Relationships are not supposed to be one-sided arrangements in which one person does all the giving and the other simply receives.

Galatians 6:2 Carry one another's burdens, and in this way you fulfill the law of Christ.

We are instructed to help one another, and that is a beautiful part of living according to God's Word. But helping someone should never become an excuse for that person to take advantage of our willingness. The instruction is to carry one another's burdens, not to make someone else responsible for carrying all of ours. There is a difference between accepting kindness with gratitude and expecting it as though we are entitled to it.

Gratitude Should Not Be an Afterthought

Remember what happened when Jesus healed ten men who had leprosy?

Luke 17:15–18 One of the men, when he realized he had been healed, turned back, praising God loudly. He fell at Jesus' feet and thanked Him. Jesus then asked where the other nine were.

All ten had received the same healing, but only one returned to express his gratitude. Jesus Himself brought attention to the fact that the others had not returned to give glory to God.

There is a lesson here about gratitude. It is possible to receive something wonderful and become so occupied with the blessing that we fail to acknowledge the one who gave it. We can become so focused on what we have received that we forget to express appreciation.

The same thing happens in our relationships. Someone may spend years helping us, encouraging us, standing beside us, and showing us kindness. Yet we may give very little thought to acknowledging what that person has meant in our lives. We simply continue receiving, as though it is all part of an arrangement that requires no appreciation.

But gratitude should not be reserved for extraordinary occasions. We ought to recognize the everyday kindnesses that make our lives better. A person doesn't have to perform some grand gesture to deserve appreciation. Sometimes the greatest blessings are found in the ordinary faithfulness of someone who consistently cares.

Kindness Begins at Home, Too

Ephesians 4:32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God, through Christ, forgave you.

This instruction applies to our everyday relationships, including those with the people we know best. Sometimes people are more considerate toward strangers than they are toward their own families. They will smile, speak politely, and exercise patience with someone they barely know, yet speak sharply to the people who have stood beside them for years.

Why should familiarity make us less considerate? Shouldn't the people closest to us receive at least the same kindness we readily extend to others?

Being kind isn't simply about doing something for someone. It is also about how we speak to them, how we respond when they need something, and whether we remember that they have feelings just as we do. We cannot claim to value kindness while continually overlooking the people who are most familiar with our own behavior.

Hebrews 13:16 Do not neglect doing good and sharing what you have, because God is pleased with such sacrifices.

God recognizes the good we do for others, including the things that may go unnoticed by everyone else. He knows the sacrifices, the generosity, and the kindness that people may never acknowledge. That should encourage us to continue doing good, but it should also remind us that our own conduct toward others matters to Him.

Before We Point Fingers, Let's Look at Ourselves

Now, before we start thinking about all the people who take US for granted, perhaps we ought to examine our own behavior. It is easy to recognize when someone fails to appreciate what we have done, but are we just as careful about recognizing what others do for us? Have we become so accustomed to someone's help that we no longer acknowledge the effort? Do we expect patience without offering patience in return? Have we been quick to notice what someone failed to do while forgetting everything they have done?

These are questions worth considering because none of us should assume we are above making this mistake. Sometimes we don't even realize we are doing it. We may have become so comfortable with the kindness of another person that we no longer recognize how much consideration that kindness requires.

Colossians 3:12–14 Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with one another and forgive one another whenever anyone has a grievance against another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Above all these things, put on love, which binds everything together in perfect unity.

Look at the qualities God tells us to put into practice: compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forgiveness, and love. These aren't qualities that should appear only when everything is going our way. They should be evident in how we treat people throughout our everyday lives. And that includes the people whose presence we may have come to expect so completely that we have forgotten to appreciate them.

Appreciation doesn't mean we must agree with everything someone says or does. Nor does loving someone mean allowing ourselves to be mistreated. It means recognizing another person's worth and treating them with the consideration and respect that God expects of us.

Don't Let the Blessing Become Invisible

We need to remember that people are not possessions, conveniences, or permanent sources of assistance. They are individuals created by God, with their own lives, responsibilities, and needs. We are not promised that every person who has been there for us will always be available, and we should never assume that someone's willingness to give of themselves is something we are entitled to receive.

If someone has been kind to you, acknowledge it. If someone has helped you, express your appreciation. If someone has stood beside you through difficult times, don't wait until you are looking back on those days to recognize what that meant. Make the effort to show consideration while you have the opportunity.

And perhaps we should remember that this applies to our relationship with God as well. How often do we enjoy the blessings He provides without stopping to thank Him? We enjoy His creation, His provision, His mercy, and the many things He has placed in our lives. Yet we should never become so accustomed to His goodness that gratitude becomes an afterthought.

1 Thessalonians 5:18 Give thanks in every circumstance, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

Gratitude is not supposed to depend upon whether everything is going exactly as we would like. It is an attitude that recognizes God's goodness, even in the ordinary circumstances of life. And when we learn to recognize His goodness, it should also influence how we recognize and appreciate the kindness of others.

So let's take a little time to examine ourselves. Are we showing the same consideration we expect to receive? Are we recognizing the people who make a difference in our lives, or have we simply become accustomed to what they do? Are we expressing appreciation, or have we allowed expectation to take its place?

A blessing doesn't become less valuable simply because it has been there a long time. And a person doesn't become less worthy of appreciation simply because we have grown accustomed to having them in our lives.

Don’t become so accustomed to the blessings God has placed before us that you forget to recognize them, appreciate them, and give thanks.

After all, we know how it feels when someone takes us for granted. Perhaps we ought to make certain that we aren't doing the very same thing to someone else.

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Prayer

Heavenly Father, we come before You with grateful hearts, thanking You for Your goodness, Your faithfulness, and the many ways You show Your love toward us. Thank You for the people You place in our lives, for the love they share, and for the thoughtfulness that reminds us how blessed we are to have one another. We thank You especially for those who, even across the miles, remember us and look for ways to help.

Father, may we never take these blessings for granted, but always recognize Your hand in the kindness we receive and be just as willing to extend that kindness to others. Continue to guide our steps, strengthen our hearts, and supply all our needs according to Your riches in glory by Christ Jesus. May our words and actions bring honor to You, and may our lives reflect the gratitude we carry in our hearts.

We thank You for hearing us, for loving us, and for always being faithful. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

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Don't take my word for it. Like the Bereans in Acts 17:11, search the Scriptures daily to see whether these things are so. Open your Bible, study God's Word for yourself, and ask the Holy Spirit to guide you into all truth. Don't simply accept my conclusions. If what I've written agrees with Scripture, hold fast to it. If it doesn't, let God's Word be your final authority.

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© AMKCH 2026

image done by imagefree at my direction. If any of these people looks like you or someone you know, that is purely coincidental. They are not.

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