When Zeal Meets God’s Will

Paul was a man on fire for the Lord, but that fire sometimes burned so hot it came close to consuming him. We often think of him as the great apostle who wrote so many of the letters we read in the New Testament, but we forget he was also stubborn, headstrong, and even reckless at times. Just like the first king of Israel, שָׁאוּל (Sha’ul – asked for), Paul (also Sha’ul) was not above pushing the line God had drawn. And it’s important we see this, not to tear him down, but to learn from the lessons God has left us through his life.

Paul admitted openly that God had given him a painful reminder of his weakness. In 2 Corinthians 12:7–9, he wrote:

“And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

The word Paul used for thorn is σκόλοψ (skolops – stake, sharp splinter). It was no tiny prick from a rose bush; it was more like a jagged stake stuck deep, painful and constant. Paul was telling us that God Himself allowed this thorn so Paul wouldn’t get puffed up with pride over the visions and revelations given to him by יֵשׁוּעַ (Yeshua).

But here’s the thing: even with that thorn, Paul didn’t slow down. He kept moving forward, sometimes against all warnings. When we come to Acts 21, the Spirit of God gave repeated warnings about what would happen if Paul went up to Jerusalem:  

        vs 4: “And finding disciples, we stayed there seven days. They told Paul through the Spirit not to go                     up to Jerusalem.”

A few verses later, a prophet arrives with a living parable.

Acts 21:10–11

“And as we stayed many days, a certain prophet named Agabus came down from Judea. When he had come to us, he took Paul’s belt, bound his own hands and feet, and said, ‘Thus says the Holy Spirit, “So shall the Jews at Jerusalem bind the man who owns this belt, and deliver him into the hands of the Gentiles.”’”

Notice this detail: Agabus did not bind Paul, but himself—with Paul’s belt. That’s a picture worth looking at. It wasn’t just words; it was a prophetic act. Agabus was showing Paul exactly what would happen if he went his own way. Everyone there wept and pleaded with Paul not to go.

            Acts 21:12–13 “Now when we heard these things, both we and those from that place pleaded                 with him not to go up to Jerusalem. Then Paul answered, ‘What do you mean by weeping and                 breaking my heart? For I am ready not only to be bound, but also to die at Jerusalem for the                 name of the Lord Jesus.’”

This is the Paul we know—utterly determined, maybe even stubborn to a fault. He loved יֵשׁוּעַ so much that death looked more like a doorway than a threat. But here’s the hard question: was this courage, or was it disobedience?

This moment has echoes in the Tanakh (The Book of the Prophets). Think about King שָׁאוּל (Sha’ul). In 1 Samuel 13:9–13, we read how, in his fear and impatience, he took it upon himself to offer a burnt offering instead of waiting for שְׁמוּאֵל (Shmuel – Samuel).

“So Sha’ul said, ‘Bring a burnt offering and peace offerings here to me.’ And he offered the burnt offering. Now it happened, as soon as he had finished presenting the burnt offering, that Samuel came; and Sha’ul went out to meet him, that he might greet him. And Samuel said, ‘What have you done?’ Sha’ul said, ‘When I saw that the people were scattered from me, and that you did not come within the days appointed… therefore I felt compelled, and offered a burnt offering.’ And Samuel said to Sha’ul, ‘You have done foolishly. You have not kept the commandment of the Lord your God.’”

King Sha’ul’s zeal was real, but his disobedience cost him the kingdom. And here, in the New Testament, we see Sha’ul the apostle pushing past the Spirit’s warning, determined to go his own way.

We’ve seen this before in the Torah. In Leviticus 10:1–2, Nadab and Abihu, the sons of אַהֲרֹן (Aharon – Aaron), offered אֵשׁ זָרָה (esh zarah – strange fire) before the Lord, fire “which He had not commanded them”:  “So fire went out from the Lord and devoured them, and they died before the Lord.”

It wasn’t that they didn’t care about God—it’s that their zeal was not joined to obedience – plus they were drunk when they offered it. And that’s the danger we see mirrored in Paul’s choice here.

But Paul himself admitted he sometimes longed for death—not out of despair, but out of desire to be with Messiah. In Philippians 1:21–23, he wrote:

“For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain. But if I live on in the flesh, this will mean fruit from my labor; yet what I shall choose I cannot tell. For I am hard-pressed between the two, having a desire to depart and be with Christ, which is far better.”

You can almost hear the weariness in his voice. All the beatings, the stonings, the shipwrecks, the nights in prison. All that wears a man down. He longed for release. And when Agabus prophesied, maybe Paul thought, Yes. This is it. My time has come!

Later, as he wrote to Timothy, Paul described himself as already being poured out:

2 Timothy 4:6–7

“For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure is at hand. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.”

That phrase “poured out as a drink offering” comes right out of the Torah. The נֶסֶךְ (nesekh – drink offering) was poured out at the altar as an act of complete surrender (Numbers 28:7). Paul wasn’t holding back a drop.

But here’s the beauty of his actions: even though Paul may have been stubborn and even though he may have pushed against the Spirit’s warning, God still used it. His arrest led him to testify before governors, kings, and finally Caesar’s household. What looked like a mistake became the very road God used to spread the Gospel all the way to Rome. Just like יוסף (Yosef – Joseph) told his brothers in Genesis 50:20,

“You meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive.”

Paul’s path shows us a sobering truth. Zeal, courage, and passion are beautiful gifts from God, but without obedience, they can turn to rebellion. The lesson is clear: we must be careful to balance boldness with submission to the Spirit.

And yet, even when we stumble, even when we push ahead in stubbornness, God is greater. He weaves our failures into His plan. Paul himself said in 1 Corinthians 15:10,

“But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me was not in vain.”

This is the heart of it: we are weak and flawed, and sometimes reckless, but His grace is sufficient.

So we have to ask ourselves: are we listening when the Spirit warns us? Do we confuse stubbornness for courage? Paul’s thorn hurt him daily, but it kept him humble. His journey to Jerusalem brought suffering, but it also brought the Gospel into halls of power. His life teaches us that God can take even our reckless zeal and turn it into a testimony of His glory—if we are truly His.

 

 

image done by chatgpt at my direction.