Ephesians 5 Explained

 

When Paul begins in Ephesians 5, he’s not just giving us some simple instructions. He’s laying down a challenge, one that’s meant to transform us from the inside out. If we only listened. He says, “Be imitators of God, as beloved children.” Imagine that for a second—imitating God. That’s no small task! But what Paul’s saying here isn’t about just copying the outward things God does. It’s about taking on His character and His love, allowing it to shape everything about us. The word he uses for “imitators” is mimētai, which means “to follow as a model or pattern.” So, we’re not just trying to act like God, we’re meant to live out His love and kindness in our day-to-day lives, because we are His children. And, as children, we should reflect the nature of our Father.

Then, Paul tells us what that imitation looks like: “Walk in love, just as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God.” Now, if you think about this, it’s not just some casual love, right? This love Paul is describing is sacrificial. It’s not about what we get or how it makes us feel. It’s about giving ourselves up for others, just as Christ did for us. And He did it willingly. The Greek word for “gave Himself up” is paradidōmi, meaning He handed Himself over, with full understanding of what He was doing. His love for us was so deep that He was willing to endure anything to restore us to the Father. When we love like that, it’s like a fragrant aroma, a sweet offering rising up to God. And the beauty of that is, when we love sacrificially, it’s an act of worship.

Then, Paul moves on to remind us that love like this doesn’t leave room for things that are out of alignment with God’s nature. He warns us about immorality, impurity, and greed. The Greek word for immorality here is porneia, which covers a wide range of sexual sin, but it can also refer to any kind of moral impurity. It’s a catch-all term for anything that pulls us away from God’s standard for holiness. Impurity, or akatharsia, goes beyond just actions—it’s a state of mind. It’s that inner corruption that affects our thoughts, attitudes, and motives. And then there’s greed, or pleonexia, which is an insatiable desire for more. It’s the mindset that says, “I need more—whether it’s money, power, or pleasure,” and it can never be satisfied. Paul’s making it clear that all of these things are connected to idolatry. When we give in to them, we’re essentially saying, “This thing is more important to me than God.”

And Paul doesn’t sugarcoat the consequences of living that way. He says, “No one who is sexually immoral or impure or who is greedy... has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.” Those are strong words, aren’t they? But they are there to wake us up and help us see the seriousness of living in disobedience. It’s not that we can’t make mistakes or fall into sin, but when we refuse to turn away from these things, when we choose them over God, it’s a different story. It’s a clear warning that if we’re living in these ways, we’re living out of sync with the kingdom we belong to.

But here’s the good news: You’ve been brought out of the darkness. You’re in the light now! Paul says, “For you were formerly darkness, but now you are light in the Lord; walk as children of light.” That’s such a powerful reminder of who we are in Christ. We’re no longer slaves to the darkness. We’ve been transformed. And now, as children of light, we’re supposed to reflect the light of the Lord in everything we do. And when we do, Paul says, the fruit of that light is goodness, righteousness, and truth. I love how these words aren’t just about what we do—they’re about who we are. Goodness isn’t just a list of good deeds; it’s about a heart that desires to do good. Righteousness isn’t about following rules—it’s about living in a way that reflects the Lord’s holiness. And truth is more than just being honest. It’s living in alignment with God’s will. So, all of these things flow from a life surrendered to Him.

Then, Paul takes it a step further and tells us not to take part in the unfruitful works of darkness. Instead, we’re supposed to expose them. I think this is key—Paul’s not telling us to judge the world, but to expose what’s in the darkness by living in the light. When we walk in the light, it naturally reveals what’s hidden. You can’t hide in darkness when the light shines on it. And when light shines on something, it loses its power. This is what Paul means when he says it’s disgraceful to even talk about the things done in secret. The more we live in the light, the less power the darkness has over us.

Paul’s next point is that we should be wise in how we live. He says, “Be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise.” In other words, don’t be careless with your life. The days are evil, and there’s so much temptation and confusion around us. We can’t afford to be sloppy with how we live. Instead, we need to make the most of every opportunity. Time is precious, and once it’s gone, we can’t get it back. Paul’s encouraging us to use our time wisely—to live intentionally for God’s kingdom. That means focusing on what truly matters and letting go of things that pull us away from Him.

And then he gives a practical piece of advice: don’t get drunk with wine. Why? Because it leads to dissipation, or recklessness. The Greek word here is asōtia, which means “to be abandoned or reckless.” When we lose control like that, it opens us up to all kinds of foolishness. Instead, Paul says, be filled with the Spirit. I love that. When we’re filled with the Spirit, we’re not out of control; we’re being led by the very presence of God. And what happens when we’re filled with the Spirit? We’re speaking to one another in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs. We’re encouraging each other in the Lord. We’re making melody in our hearts to God, and we’re always giving thanks. There’s a joy and a peace that comes from being filled with the Spirit—and it spills over into every area of our lives. Even in the hardest moments, we can give thanks because we know that God is with us.

Finally, Paul talks about submission. He says, “Be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.” Submission isn’t about being forced into something; it’s about choosing to honor others, to put their needs before ours, and to live in humility. It’s a mutual submission that flows from the love and respect we have for one another and for Christ. When we submit to one another, we’re reflecting the very heart of Christ. It’s the ultimate act of love and respect.

When Paul begins to shift the conversation toward marriage, it’s clear he has a higher vision for what a godly marriage should look like. He says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” Now, this is the real kicker, isn’t it? Paul is asking husbands to love their wives with the kind of sacrificial love that Christ showed to the church. That’s a big standard to live up to. It’s not about what a husband can get out of the relationship or how he can be served, but about how he lays down his life for her. Christ didn’t hold anything back when He gave Himself up for the church, and that’s the kind of love Paul is talking about here.

The Greek word for love here is agapē, and it’s the highest form of love—selfless, sacrificial, unconditional. It’s not about feelings or emotions. It’s about a choice to put the other person first, to protect and care for them, even when it’s difficult. When Paul tells husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church, he’s not just speaking about affectionate or tender feelings; he’s talking about a radical, self-giving love that calls men to give up their own comfort for the good of their wives.

Now, when Paul says, “Husbands, love your wives,” he’s not just talking about a one-time act. It’s an ongoing, continual love. It’s a daily choice. And it’s a love that comes with responsibility. We live in a world where far too many men have forgotten this kind of love. They’ve substituted selfishness for service and power for sacrifice. Think about the way so many men treat women today, and how twisted that is compared to what Christ modeled for us.

Take what’s happening in women’s sports, for instance. Men pushing their way into spaces meant for women, claiming rights to what was once their own. These men aren’t showing sacrificial love; they’re showing a desire for power and dominance. It’s not just about competition—it’s about silencing women, stripping away their hard-earned opportunities, and leaving them with nothing but a sense of helplessness. When a man forces himself into a woman's space, in a way that undermines her identity and accomplishments, it’s a display of wickedness, selfishness, and pride.

That’s the opposite of Christ's love. Christ didn’t come to take over, He came to serve. He came to build up, not tear down. When men today use their power and influence to manipulate situations for their own gain, like forcing women out of their own spaces, it’s a clear distortion of what Christ intended.

Paul continues in Ephesians 5, saying that Christ gave Himself up for the church to sanctify her, cleansing her by the washing of water with the word, so that He might present her to Himself as a radiant bride, without spot or wrinkle, holy and blameless. Imagine that kind of commitment—a husband committed to the holiness of his wife, doing everything he can to see her flourish. That’s how a man should treat his wife—like a treasured and cherished partner. But too often, we see the opposite today. Men don’t see women as precious partners to honor and nurture. They see them as competition, obstacles, or tools to get what they want.

But this is the challenge for the husband. To love his wife with the same deep, sacrificial love that Christ demonstrated. Christ didn’t come to use His power for His own gain; He used it to elevate others, especially those who were oppressed, disregarded, or ignored. If we bring that into the context of marriage, a husband’s role is to elevate his wife, to cherish her, and to be fully committed to her well-being. That’s what Christ showed us when He laid down His life for us, and it’s what every husband is called to do for his wife.

What does this look like in practice? It means a husband who is emotionally available, who listens, who cares deeply for the emotional and spiritual well-being of his wife. It means not pushing her aside, not belittling her, not using his strength to overpower her, but rather using it to protect her and help her succeed. A husband is supposed to see his wife as an equal partner, not as someone he can control or suppress. And when he loves her this way, when he gives himself for her, the result is a marriage that reflects the beauty of Christ and His church—a relationship marked by mutual respect, love, and honor.

This is the ideal—this is how God created marriage to function. But in today’s world, where men so often seek to dominate, control, or belittle women, the message of sacrificial love and mutual respect can get lost. We’re living in a world where men often try to take the very spaces and opportunities that were meant for women, because they see it as an opportunity to push their agenda or prove their superiority. Whether it's in sports or in the workplace, the issue is the same. Women are being forced to take a step back while men try to step into their places, and the lines are being blurred in ways that are hurtful and harmful.

As we reflect on what Paul teaches here in Ephesians, we should be reminded that Christ came to serve, not to be served. And men, particularly in the context of marriage, are called to reflect that same kind of love. They’re not supposed to dominate, control, or overshadow women. They’re meant to serve them, to love them sacrificially, and to help them shine in the way that Christ helps His church shine.

Ephesians 5:25 on is not just a passage about roles in marriage, but a profound message about love, respect, and mutual sacrifice. It challenges the men to love their wives in a way that reflects the love Yeshua has for His Church—selflessly, sacrificially, and with the goal of building them up, not tearing them down. This is a love that doesn’t seek to dominate or control but to serve and protect, honoring the dignity and worth of the woman.

And, as we’ve seen, the current state of the world, where women are often belittled, overlooked, or treated as less than equals, stands in stark contrast to the divine order that Ephesians 5 reveals. It’s heartbreaking that, today, women’s hard-earned progress and spaces are at risk of being overtaken in the name of twisted ideologies. But the true heart of the passage is about a partnership—one where both the man and woman are honored, valued, and loved as equals before God. The call is for men to be leaders not through dominance, but through service and love, reflecting the very character of Yeshua in their marriages and relationships.

When we truly embrace the beauty of this divine picture, we begin to shift away from the broken systems of the world and move toward something far greater: a world where love reigns, where each person is treated with respect and dignity, and where men and women, together, reflect the glory of God. May we live in such a way that our relationships mirror the loving, selfless partnership that HaShem designed from the beginning, honoring one another in the way that He intended.

Images are AI generated.