WHERE WAS GOD?

Many years ago, I went through a serious spiritual crisis. I thought "Where was God while this was going on? Why didn't He do something to stop it? I thought He loves us all! If he does, then where was He? I fumed and yelled at Him, and just "let Him have it!" I began drinking, smoking, and just doing whatever I felt like doing at the time, and I quit attending church. I just turned my back on Him.

But He never turned His back on me! Even though I did, God WAS always there. Just like His Son, Christ Jesus said... He never left me.

Heb 13:5 Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

So why do I have this ministry? Simple... God more than proved His love for me, and that He IS ALWAYS there with us!

1 Pet 3:15-22 But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asks you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear: Having a good conscience; that, whereas they speak evil of you, as of evildoers, they may be ashamed that falsely accuse your good conversation in Christ. For it is better, if the will of God be so, that ye suffer for well doing, than for evil doing. For Christ also hath once suffered for sins, the just for the unjust, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh, but quickened by the Spirit: By which also he went and preached unto the spirits in prison; Which sometime were disobedient, when once the longsuffering of God waited in the days of Noah, while the ark was a preparing, wherein few, that is, eight souls were saved by water. The like figure whereunto even baptism doth also now save us (not the putting away of the filth of the flesh, but the answer of a good conscience toward God,) by the resurrection of Jesus Christ: Who is gone into heaven, and is on the right hand of God; angels and authorities and powers being made subject unto him.

When someone asks me why I believe what and the way I believe, I must be prepared, and able to give them a good, Godly answer... and my life must show it.

Several months or so after my angry "tantrum", I broke down. It took me that long to come to my senses. I then was able to calmly asked God, "Why?" He told me "To prepare you for what I have in store for you." I asked Him, "But why did my family have to be destroyed and my children scarred for life?" "I have plans for them as well", was the reply.

I can't explain all of the if's, and's or but's about why God does things, or allows things to happen. I do know that He does them to prepare us for something that He has in store for us, OR, because if we are not listening to or obeying Him, it is His way of chastising or disciplining us... Some things He does just to get our attention, to let us know He IS there! He IS in charge. He KNOWS what's going on.

The things that happened in my life was in preparation for teaching you, helping you, being there to help you understand Him. But before I could do any of this, I had to be able to understand your problem(s). I had to "walk in your shoes", so to speak. I can't think of anything I have been through where God hasn't brought me through it a new person... with a new lesson taught.

People say (especially psychiatrists) that to believe in God is a weakness for "sorry, naive" folks. They only say this because they think they have all the answers to life's problems. They say "bad things happen because the person was simply 'in the wrong place, at the wrong time', or made the wrong choices.

I agree about making wrong choices. But it is not because of weakness that I believe and trust in Someone I can't see. It is because I KNOW, beyond any doubt, that GOD, and NOT man, knows what I'm having to deal with in my life. Why? Because much of it He started, for whatever reason, or I made wrong choices and He allowed the consequences to run their course.

How can I know God really exists?

Look up. Ask, out loud, for Him to show Himself to you. In some way, He will. Maybe not right then at that very second, but He will... in His time. As you are thinking of Him, you can know that He put that searching thought into your mind. He wants you to look for Him! He wants to make Himself known to you! He wants to "bless your socks off"!

John 6:37 All that the Father giveth me shall come to me; and him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out.

John 6:44 No man can come to me, except the Father which hath sent me draw (him: and I will raise him up at the last day.

The Greek word for draw is helkuo; meaning

1) to draw, drag off

2) metaphorically, to draw by inward power, lead, impel

When you find you have questions about God, it is His way of calling you to Him; dragging you to Him. Mankind of the world's way cannot know God unless He does yank us out from where we are spiritually, and shows us Himself. This is when we turn from "vessels of dishonor (people of the world) to vessels of honor (Children of God).

Rom 9:21 Hath not the potter (i.e. God) power over the clay, of the same lump to make one vessel unto honour, and another unto dishonour?

John 3:27 b A man can receive nothing, except it be given him from heaven.

John 5:44 How can ye believe, which receive honour one of another, and seek not the honour that cometh from God only?

1 John 4:4 Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world.

I am going to show you passages of Scripture to help you understand things that God has said. Now, you may say, "that book is just a fantasy, or a fiction book. It's not real. Some men got together and wrote it. And on top of that, I've heard there are tons of errors in it!

HOWEVER!!! It wasn't just any men that "got together" to write it... but God CHOSE these men and TOLD them what to say. Just as, right now, as I am writing this, God is inspiring me as to what to say. I hear His voice in my heart... in my mind. He is refreshing my memory of things He taught me as I lived my life. The Bible is NOT a fantasy novel to be enjoyed. It is a book of history, and life lessons to be learned. If one reads it, and practices the good things he or she reads, then they will see the rewards that God promises!!! It's like taking a math class... You learn it once in school from books, and then through your life, you use the principles you learned; like for cooking or building; it becomes real for you... You understand how the principles work and how to use them better as you put them into practice. God WILL "make Himself real" for you in the same way!

Yes there are many thousands of errors in the King James Version. But that's another teaching in itself!!! As I share THIS message, I am using the KJV because it is the most accessible to everyone and more accurate than many out there now. But where there are errors in it, I will explain what the original text says.

2 Peter 1:21 For the prophecy came not in old time by the will of man: but holy men of God spake as they were moved (inspired) by the Holy Ghost.

This was before the church changed it to say what they wanted it to say, "to keep 'lay people' in line". And they killed those who tried to teach the truth! (There again, another teaching).

Believe it or not, the Commandments of God are put into law in just about every country in the world. Even though no rewards are given by man to everyone who obeys them, certain punishments are for those who don't. For example, if one steals from, or kills another, they will go to prison.

A worldly simple example would be in carpentry. The saying goes "measure twice, cut once". If you don't cut it exactly as it should be, you've lost that piece. Whatever you are working on will not fit. Another example could be: if you are not obedient to the rules on using the tools of carpentry, someone could get seriously injured, or even killed by carelessness.

The same principle applies to practicing God's Word in our lives. There are consequences we have to pay for those things we do wrong. But I digress... Let's go back to the message at hand]

Deut 4:29... if from thence thou shalt seek the LORD thy God, thou shalt find him, if thou seek him with all thy heart and with all thy soul.

1 Chron 28:9 b... the LORD searcheth all hearts, and understandeth all the imaginations of the thoughts: if thou seek him, he will be found of thee; but if thou forsake him, he will cast thee off for ever (for the ages).

If you are looking for Him, He will come and make Himself known to you. We need to seek out... go looking for God for ourselves. He already knows all about us. He knows about our problems, our health, our family, our friends, our jobs, etc.

2 Chron 15:2 b... The LORD is with you, while ye be with him; and if ye seek him, he will be found of you; but if ye forsake him, he will forsake you.

Ezra 8:22 b... The hand of our God is upon all them for good that seek him; but his power and his wrath is against all them that forsake him.

Psa 119:2 Blessed are they that keep his testimonies, and that seek him with the whole heart.

Heb 11:6 But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.

You can't just go looking for God. You have to have an honest wanting to know Him. He won't make Himself known to just anyone... especially those who are just being spiteful.... Well, He might... but not in a way THEY would like!

Elijah, a prophet of The Lord, was in great danger. Jezebel and Ahab were "after him" because he was a prophet. They didn't like God, because that meant that they would have to be "good folks". But they wanted to control everyone... with no one controlling them. (Sounds like the governments and secret societies of today, hmmm?)

Because of this, Jezebel didn't like prophets too much. Prophets are those who speak for God; who teach the people what God's Word is. Read the complete story in the books 1 & 2 Kings to find out more!!! Because people are so hard hearted, they can't hear that "still small voice" if and when God chooses to speak softly to them. Something really harsh or bad has to happen before they go to Him.

1 Kings 19:9 And he (Elijah) came thither unto a cave, and lodged there; and, behold, the word of the LORD came to him, and he said unto him, What doest thou here, Elijah?

God was asking "What are you doing here, of all places? Why aren't you at home?" Even though God already knew the answer, He wanted Elijah to realize it for himself.

:10 And he (Elijah) said, I have been very jealous for the LORD God of hosts: for the children of Israel have forsaken thy covenant, thrown down thine altars, and slain thy prophets with the sword; and I, even I only, am left; and they seek my life, to take it away.

I'd say that Elijah was feeling pretty sorry for himself here.

:11-12 And he (God) said, Go forth, and stand upon the mount before the LORD. And, behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the LORD; but the LORD was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the LORD was not in the earthquake: And after the earthquake a fire; but the LORD was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice.

:13 And it was so, when Elijah heard it, that he wrapped his face in his mantle, and went out, and stood in the entering in of the cave. (He thought someone was outside and went to look) And, behold, there came a voice unto him, and said, What doest thou here, Elijah?

God let Elijah know He was there. Not in anything he could see, but with a still, small voice in his mind; in his heart. And now He was asking him again, "Ok, now that you know I'm with you, why are you still here?"

:14 And he said, I have been very jealous for the LORD God of hosts: because the children of Israel have forsaken thy covenant, thrown down thine altars, and slain thy prophets with the sword; and I, even I only, am left; and they seek my life, to take it away.

Elijah repeated his answer because of his strong faith in God. He wanted God to know, beyond any doubt that he trusted Him, but yet he was still afraid.

:15 a And the LORD said unto him, Go, return on thy way to the wilderness of Damascus...

Here, He was telling Elijah, "Ok, I understand you, but do as I say, and all will be okay". God went on to take care of Elijah's "problem"

Just because we can't see the air we breath, doesn't mean it's not there. Just because we can't see God physically, doesn't mean He's not there. God WILL make Himself known to you when you truly seek Him. Then, He will help you through your situation if you but trust Him.

But why should I trust in something or someone I can't see? You do it all the time! An example of this would be putting your money in the bank and trusting that the bank is holding it for you... Perhaps you have a "direct deposit" account. In this, you are trusting that your employer will deposit your earnings into your bank account, but you didn't see him do it, did you? You don't know the people who work at the bank, do you? You can't SEE your money, but you trust it will be in your account when you desire to use it. Or trusting that your babysitter is taking good care of your child. You're not there to see how they treat them, are you? But you trust that everything is going as you would like them to go.

We can't see God, but we can trust that He IS, and that He IS with us, especially if and when we truly acknowledge Him. He will then make Himself known to us!

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So why does God allow so much evil in the world?

Isa 45:5-7 I am the LORD, and there is none else, there is no God beside me: I girded thee, though thou hast not known me: That they may know from the rising of the sun, and from the west, that there is none beside me. I am the LORD, and there is none else. I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.

Deut 32:39 See now that I, even I, am he, and there is no god with me: I kill, and I make alive; I wound, and I heal: neither is there any that can deliver (take from) out of my hand.

Why would God creat evil? To test us. To show us, so that we can know for ourselves, how we are... the choices we make. He already knows us... what we will say and do, even before we are even thought of by our parents! He Himself doesn't need to learn... but we do. He causes events in our paths to show us... by the choices we make, what kind of people we are or can be. And to punish those who disobey Him.

Psa 11:4 The LORD is in his holy temple, the LORD'S throne is in heaven: his eyes behold, his eyelids try (test), the children of men.

Jer 17:10 I the LORD search the heart, I try (test) the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings. (whether good or bad)

God also causes events in our lives to chastise or punish us. The Word of God is filled with examples of God's anger against those who disobey or turn their backs on Him (i.e. Jezebel, for one) and rewards those that do good, and trust in Him. I could tell you some awesome stuff He's done for me!

Prov 11:18 The wicked worketh a deceitful work: but to him that soweth righteousness shall be a sure reward.

Prov 24:20 For there shall be no reward to the evil man; the candle of the wicked shall be put out.

It is the choices we make and do, that we are either rewarded or chastised for. God wants us to choose Him so that He can reward us!

Deut 30:19 I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live

Josh 24:15 And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.

While God's enemy, satan the devil, only wants to kill us and more...

John 10:10 The thief cometh not, but for to steal (our joy), and to kill (our bodies), and to destroy (our lives): I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.

1 Pet 5:8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour

God created the devil when He created evil... (see above). Why would He do such a thing?! Well, as I explained above, it's not for HIM... but for us... for our purpose. But humans can be sooooo hard headed and hard hearted and greedy, they just don't care... so they don't pay attention. I'll say it again...

God created evil to test us. To show us, so that we can know for ourselves, how we are... the choices we make. He already knows us... He Himself doesn't need to learn... but we do. He causes events in our paths to show us... by the choices we make, what kind of people we are or can be. And to punish those who disobey Him. The enemy has work to do to for God. He's hard at it too... BUT!!! When we come to know, and truly realize what's up, and even just BEGIN to follow God's commandments, He WILL support and help us!!! He WILL carry us through each and every situation we get ourselves into. Like trusting the bank to hold our cash, we must trust The Lord to watch our backs!

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God created evil... The Word says it, and I believe it... The adversary is the accuser.

Rev 12:10 And I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, Now is come salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of his Christ: for the accuser of our brethren is cast down, which accused them before our God day and night.

Every word we say, every action we take, the adversary runs to God, as a "tattle tale" and accuses us. "She had sex with that guy... and she's married!" "He just beat up that lady!" "Oh! she just sassed her parents!" "He didn't get up and go to church, and told his parents he was sick... but you know he's not!"; "She may go to church and worship you, but she's not perfect, she smokes cigarettes!" He stands before God day in and day out accusing us of even the tiniest things. Then, he tries to talk God into letting him do stuff to us. He is THE sadist if ever there was one!!! HE is what we must stand against!!!

1 Pet 5:8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour

Eph 6:10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.

:11-12 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places (government).

:13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

:14-15 Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;

:16 Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.

:17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:

:18-20 Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints; And for me (your pastors and teachers), that utterance may be given unto me, that I may open my mouth boldly, to make known the mystery of the gospel, For which I am an ambassador in bonds: that therein I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.

You can know that God IS. He knows you. He loves you. and He's "got your back" when you trust and worship Him!

Things happen for a purpose. Either to teach us, to punish us, or to simply guide us in our lives. What we must do, as in going to school to learn and wanting to earn good grades, is pay attention.

Pro 28:26 He that trusteth in his own heart is a fool: but whoso walketh wisely, he shall be delivered.

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When bad things happen to us in our lives, we need to consider several things:

1. Most importantly is our relationship with God. Do we talk to Him? Do we share our thoughts and feelings with Him? Do we search for Him with our whole heart? Do we truly believe in Him? Do we worship HIM, and not the people and things of the world? For help in this area see my messages "Power Of Prayer" and "Practice His Presence".

Rom 8:7 Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be.

2. Did we do or say anything to cause it? What is our attitude toward others?

For help in this area see the messages "Forgiveness Equals Forgiveness" and "Of A Clique".

3. Was it caused by fire, weather, or government misdeeds?

These ARE the last days spoken of in the Bible. I know you've heard of this. Prophecy says that there will be earthquakes and hurricanes and such. There is nothing we can do about those, but prepare for and against them, and pray. God is punishing those countries that have turned their backs to Him. Unfortunately, the "innocent" are caught in the cross fire. But those people, if they truly know and love God, WILL be warned and protected. We need to keep our eyes and ears and especially our hearts and minds, open to God.

4. Was it something someone did to us that we had no control over?

I explained much of this above. It could be either to "catch our attention" so that we can know it's time to turn to God; Or to teach and prepare us for something to happen in our future; Or to punish us for something we had done, even years before.

God tells us, through Paul, to judge ourselves before He gets hold of us...

1 Corinth 11:31-32 For if we would judge ourselves, we should not be judged. But when we are judged, we are chastened of the Lord, that we should not be condemned with the world.

When we really, deep down, judge ourselves, then make amends for those things we've done wrong against others, (there's no excuse not to; don't let pride keep you from this), God will help us, and will have no cause to judge us Himself.

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I don't claim to have all the answers. I just know that I have trust in God, my Savior, in the name of His Son, Christ Jesus. I have seen miracles happen. I have had terrible things happen. But through all these, I know that I can go to God for comfort; for peace. I know that He IS. I know that He cares for me. You can too.

I truly hope this has been a help and a blessing to you. If you still have questions, or need help in understanding, please email me or leave a message in the question box on the home page here. I will do what I can to help you.

I pray God's help and blessings for you as you live your life.

I hope this message blessed you. If so, please leave a comment. I look forward to hearing from you.

Anna M. C. Hazen  2025 (originally written in 1998)

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